Still Struggling

I am now on my third time quitting smoking, and it’s more challenging this time then the last two times. The first time, which is chronicled here, was six months long. The second was nine months long. Each time, my quit was murdered by stress – which I didn’t have another way of dealing with.

The first time, I ended up with a rat in my house. I am extremely rodent-phobic, so this was a major stressor. Of course, I probably was over-reacting to the situation, but that’s what a phobia is. To say I flipped my lid would be an understatement. It appeared to be someone’s pet rat (sorry to whomever may have lost it) as it was the wrong color for our local wild rats, and was lacking that ‘wild’ look. It died in a rat trap, though I will say I was expecting it to be a red squirrel (the scourge of Maine).

The second time I was doing great with this whole quitting smoking thing…or so I thought. My mother ended up in a car accident, and died one month later. Needless to say, this was stress I was NOT prepared to deal with. Unfortunately that also seemed to precipitate an immense increase in stress for the next year. At the same time as the drama unfolding with my mother, I was diagnosed with several health issues. That was just fuel for the fire, let me tell you.

But I’m not giving up. No matter how hard it may be to quit smoking, or how many times I have to try, I refuse to stop trying. I am tired of being a slave to something that is probably making things worse in the long run, even if it is the go to stress reliever. If you are quitting smoking yourself, don’t stop trying…even if you think you have failed. You haven’t.


  1. go girl! So proud of you for trying again! good for you. I haven't even 'tried' in a long time. I do know that meditation is a good thing for stress, so an attitude adjustment does help,. but I think you and I have had that conversation before, elsewhere. Dashing off to work, have a good day!

  2. Hey , That is so good and appreciable that you have planned such a good thing but please stick to it . i know it is really hard but if are determined towards it then you are surely going to succeed and stress which you are feeling at time is due to the fact that when you are so madly addicted to something and suddenly if you stop it then it is surely going to be stressful for some days but then your life will be good. Even if you are not able to do it you can use a herbal vaporizer which is very safe and healthy and give you same pleasure as smoking with no harm.

  3. Hey , I know that to quit smoking is not that easy and it takes time as it is a very strong addiction and it takes strong will power and determination to give up smoke.

  4. dyingtobesmokefreeNovember 3, 2012 at 9:32 PM

    Hi hi Raiscara...I have enjoyed reading your posts. I am currently trying to quit for about the ninth to thirteenth time and have actually stopped counting. I am 51 years old and have smoked since I was 15 when I started working in a restaurant. I am actually quite physically fit making myself run 3 miles a day to quit again and am now down 20lbs to 130. I've hated being overweight and am terrified of putting it back on. However, I was starting to notice weird chest pains and that terrifies me even more. I am on day 3 of qs. The hardest part that I find is that my motivation/ambition to do anything goes down the toilet when I realize I can't enjoy a smoke with a glass of wine or cup of coffee at the end of my day. So try, try again. Stop feeling sorry/deprived/angry/resentful for myself and just get bloody well on with it!!! Good luck/will power to you and me. For extra incentive look up small cell lung cancer on the internet...


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